11. EmbraceSexual experiences that flow from emotional intimacy are making love. Such encounters look and feel entirely different from sexual experiences that are not heart-connected. Rather than a race between two competitors running in their own lanes and focused on a finish line, making love is a dance.

Creative sexual dancers on an improvisational journey have no preconceived notions of what a sexual experience, such as simultaneous orgasm, or even orgasm itself, should be. There is only the moment and whatever happens is a result of clear verbal and non-verbal communication.

Being totally present in the oneness of the moment determines the next moment. Responses to what each person experiences weave a unique route. No matter how many times the dance is done, the path is never the same.

Sexual heartfelt experiences have many different and often unexpected flavors and forms that never get old even as lovers do. The finish line is never predetermined. One person may reach the finish line ahead of the other. They may reach it simultaneously. Or, one or both may decide on a different finish line.

Frantically searching for the elusive prize of sexual satisfaction, while remaining clueless about the QI spot of sexuality, will never result in complete sexual satisfaction. Although there is nothing wrong with sex as a purely physical act, sexual fulfillment flows naturally when wide-open hearts connect.


What would having more meaningful sexual dances in your life mean to you and how can you create them?

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Image: Embrace by ©Lee Shapiro



9. WWII MemorialSex is one of the most common areas for upsetting differences to occur. Talking and listening with a heart connection during, as well as apart from the sexual experience, creates a safe place for partners to freely express themselves. Their likes, dislikes, fears, need for freedom and emotional connection, shame and fantasies can be shared in a non-judgmental atmosphere of compassion.

Heartfelt communication is loving, exciting, illuminating and satisfying. Feeling listened to and understood encourages partners to discover new things about each other. A sense of safety blossoms into a fulfilling closeness. The trust that is built allows old wounds to be healed, sexual and emotional intimacy to deepen and new possibilities to emerge. And, Viagra is never needed to keep a heart on.


What needs to happen for you to have the courage to keep your heart on related to your sexuality?

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Image: WWII Memorial ©Rod Pilcher